Hello again :-)
Today, I want to touch on the subject of Communication!
Do you sometimes find yourself playing out scenarios in your head because you are feeling frustrated or angry about something? I'm not immune to this, but what I'm learning, is we waste so much time and energy role playing in our heads, when half the time the person or situation in question is not as we imagine it to be.
A lot of the time, we bring unnecessary suffering to ourselves by imagining the worst case scenario or imagining that something is a lot worse than it actually is. How can we eliminate these voices and nip them in the bud? It's by communicating! Sometimes, we are so scared to voice our opinions and instead, we fester in our negative thoughts. This is not good! It isn't good because negativity breeds negativity and it becomes a destructive circle of events in our lives.
Are you upset with the way someone has treated you? Tell them! It's not about being nasty and accusatory towards them (because sometimes, we can be over-sensitive and they are not aware). However, it's about letting them know how you feel. E.g. you can say something like 'you know when you said/did xxxx, it made me feel xxxx.' Explain why it made you feel this way. A decent person will be upset they hurt you, as they probably didn't realise. They will want to rectify the situation and no doubt will apologise profusely. A not so decent person (most often than not; someone who is narcissistic) will relay the blame on you. This is when you have a choice to make. Either walk away and take a break from the friendship/relationship so that they can reflect on their actions or continue in this onward spiral of negativity. The choice is yours.
I shall end this blog by saying 'believe in yourself'. Your feelings and your gut instincts matter. If you are genuinely suffering about someone's actions or a situation, you need to deal with it and communicate. If the person continuously makes you feel bad about yourself, then you need to take a stand - for your own growth if nothing else. Yes, sometimes we can be over-sensitive (I know that I can be) and scenarios can trigger emotions we thought we had buried, but a good friend will help you through this. You are worth more than you know and you need to believe that too!